profile

Niblits - little bites of big ideas

Think Faster, Talk Smarter - Master the Art of "Yes, and..."

Published 3 days ago • 2 min read

​

The Improv Secret That Transforms Every Conversation

Hi Reader,

💡 Today's Niblit: In "Think Faster, Talk Smarter," Matt Abrahams reveals how using the "Yes, and..." approach from improvisational theater can turn combative conversations into collaborative opportunities and make you a more compelling communicator.

🔑 Key Insight: Most of us default to "Yes, but..." or outright "No" when others share ideas, which creates resistance and shuts down dialogue. The "Yes, and..." approach validates what someone has said and builds upon it, creating a collaborative dynamic that opens up new possibilities in any conversation.

Picture two different responses to a colleague's suggestion: "Yes, but that would be expensive and complicated" versus "Yes, that's an interesting direction, and we could start with a smaller pilot to test the concept." The first response feels like a brick wall; the second feels like a bridge. Both acknowledge potential challenges, but only one invites continued exploration and maintains the relationship.

This matters because "Yes, and..." doesn't just change what you say — it changes how you listen. When you're looking for ways to build on ideas rather than shoot them down, you become more attuned to possibilities and more attractive as a conversation partner. People gravitate toward those who make them feel heard and valued.

🦉 Nibble of Wisdom: There are no right or wrong answers in conversation, only new and next answers.

🛠️ Practical Tip: Start your next challenging conversation by saying "I'm glad you brought this up, and I'd like to understand more about your thinking." This opener uses "Yes, and..." principles to create immediate collaboration rather than confrontation.

🚀 Quick Action: The next time someone shares an idea you disagree with, resist your first impulse to counter. Instead, find one element you can genuinely validate, then add your perspective using "and" instead of "but." Notice how this changes the entire dynamic.

🔍 Further Exploration:

  • Pay attention to how often you use "but" versus "and" when responding to others' ideas.
  • Learn about the concept of psychological reactance and how opposition can actually strengthen someone's position.
  • Practice finding areas of agreement even when you fundamentally disagree with someone's conclusion.

🎬 Wrapup: By adopting "Yes, and..." as your default response pattern, you transform from someone who shuts down conversations to someone who opens them up. This single shift can make you a more influential communicator and a more valued colleague, friend, and collaborator.

🔗 Links:

Building with you,

Tom "yes, and...” enthusiast Bernthal

Thank you!

Thank you for joining the Niblits community. If you have questions, suggestions or want to chat, hit reply.

​Share Niblits with friends.

If you'd like to get access to more books and ideas, tap here to see how you can help me grow Niblits faster!

Update your Niblits newsletter options | Unsubscribe
​113 Cherry St #92768, Seattle, WA 98104-2205

Niblits - little bites of big ideas

by Tom Bernthal

Get key insights from top books like “Atomic Habits,” “The Psychology of Money,” “Find Your Why,” “Never Split the Difference,” and more. You get practical tips and powerful ideas on productivity, personal growth, money, business, and beyond. Just 1-2 minutes a day unlocks big ideas and boosts your success. Subscribe to my Niblits newsletter and awaken your greatness within, one bite at a time!

Read more from Niblits - little bites of big ideas

The Power of Strategic Client Conversations Hi Reader, 💡 Today's Niblit: In "The Pumpkin Plan", Mike Michalowicz discovered that asking clients about their industry frustrations, instead of his company's performance, unlocked a larger goldmine of business opportunities. One simple conversation led to a billing change that increased client satisfaction and boosted his revenue by 40%. 🔑 Key Insight: Most client feedback calls focus on your performance, yielding polite responses and...

2 days ago • 1 min read

The Inner Wiring That Keeps You Stressed Hi Reader, 💡 Today's Niblit: In The Let Them Theory, author Mel Robbins explains why your brain naturally resists letting go of control over others. Understanding this biological drive is the first step to breaking free from unnecessary stress and anxiety. 🔑 Key Insight: Your brain craves security and predictability, which is why losing control over people or situations triggers stress responses. When others don't behave as you expect, your ingrained...

4 days ago • 2 min read

Rediscover Your Body's Lost Language Hi Reader, 💡 Today's Niblit: In "The Body Keeps the Score", Dr. van der Kolk reveals that many trauma survivors lose the ability to sense their own bodies—they can't tell when they're hungry, tense, or even in pain. Rebuilding this "interoceptive" awareness becomes a cornerstone of healing. 🔑 Key Insight: Your body constantly sends signals about your internal state — heart rate changes, muscle tension, gut sensations — but trauma can sever your connection...

5 days ago • 2 min read