Supercommunicators - Mastering the Three Conversations


The Hidden Dimensions of Every Dialogue

Hi Reader,

💡 Today's Niblit: Charles Duhigg's "Supercommunicators" unveils a game-changing insight: every meaningful conversation is actually three conversations happening simultaneously. Understanding this triad is key to unlocking deeper connections.

🔑 Key Insight: All conversations can be categorized into three types:

  1. What's This Really About? (practical)
  2. How Do We Feel? (emotional), and
  3. Who Are We? (social)

Recognizing which type is dominant at any moment can dramatically improve our communication.

Imagine you're discussing a project deadline with a colleague. On the surface, it's a practical conversation about timelines (What's This Really About?). But underneath, there might be anxiety about performance (How Do We Feel?) and concerns about professional identity (Who Are We?).

Why does this matter? When we're aware of these layers, we can address the real issues at hand. If we only focus on the practical aspect while ignoring emotional or social undercurrents, we might miss important information or fail to connect meaningfully.

🦉 Nibble of Wisdom: The most successful communicators don't just hear words— they listen for the conversation behind the conversation.

🛠️ Practical Tip: In your next important discussion, try to identify which of the three conversation types is most prominent. Then, consciously address that level in your responses.

🚀 Quick Action: Think of a recent miscommunication you've had. Can you identify which of the three conversation types you might have overlooked? How could acknowledging it have changed the outcome?

🔍 Further Exploration:

  • Reflect on how these three conversation types might play out differently in various cultures.
  • Consider how code-switching might relate to navigating these different conversation types.
  • Explore how you might use this framework to improve communication in challenging relationships in your life.

🎬 Wrapup: By recognizing the three dimensions of every conversation, we equip ourselves with a powerful tool for better understanding and connection. Next time you're in a dialogue, remember to listen not just for what's being said, but for the underlying practical, emotional, and social currents. It's like putting on 3D glasses for your conversations!

🔗 Links:

Tuning into all channels with you,

Tom "always seeking three-dimensional dialogues" Bernthal


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